El Niagara En Bicicleta Lyrics in English Juan Luis Guerra

Below, I translated the lyrics of the song El Niagara En Bicicleta by Juan Luis Guerra from Spanish to English.
I got a fainting spell on a Sunday morning
When I least expected it
I fell flat, like a soursop, on the drain
Maybe it's the pressure or my bilirubin's risen
And a fever came over me
And I kept turning white like a mothball
They took me to a people's hospital, supposedly
In the ER, the receptionist was listening to the lottery
Somebody have pity on me!
I screamed while losing consciousness
And a nurse came up to my ear and said
Relax, Bobby, relax
She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and said
What's wrong, athlete?
And I told her in great detail what had happened to me
We have to check your pressure
But the room's occupied and, my dear
In this hospital there's no power for an electrocardiogram
I opened my eyes like a full moon and grabbed my head
Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle
Don't tell me that the doctors are gone
Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic
Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol
And that the sewing thread
Was embroidered into a tablecloth
Don't tell me that the forceps got lost
That the stethoscope's partying
That the X-rays burned out
And that the IV was already used
To sweeten the coffee
I leaned on her shoulders like a cripple on his crutch
And said to her: What do I do, princess?
And on a prescription pad she wrote me very sweetly
I'm sorry, athlete
She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and went on her way
And I clearly heard when she told another patient
Relax, Bobby, relax
I lowered my eyes to half-mast and grabbed my head
Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle
Don't tell me that the doctors are gone
Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic
Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol
And that the sewing thread
Was embroidered into a tablecloth
Don't tell me that the forceps got lost
That the stethoscope's partying
That the X-rays burned out
And that the IV was already used
To sweeten the coffee
Don't tell me that somebody's dropping
Don't tell me that the aspirins
Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth
Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth to me
Don't tell me that the aspirins
Don't tell me that somebody's falling
Lyrics and Translations Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Juan Luis Guerra
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SONG MEANING

Juan Luis Guerra turns a medical mishap into a satirical adventure, mixing humor with sharp social critique. The narrator collapses on a lazy Sunday and is rushed to a chaotic public hospital where the receptionist is busy listening to the lottery, nurses soothe patients with the catchphrase “Tranquilo, Bobby, tranquilo,” and basic supplies like anesthesia, alcohol, and even thread have mysteriously vanished. Guerra’s playful merengue beat keeps the story light, yet every witty line exposes the painful reality of an underfunded health-care system.

The chorus compares getting proper treatment to “crossing Niagara Falls on a bicycle,” an almost impossible feat that captures the frustration of ordinary people when institutions fail them. Behind the catchy melody lies a plea for dignity, efficiency, and compassion. By the end, you are laughing at the absurdity while feeling the sting of truth, realizing that this song dances between joy and protest, inviting listeners to groove, reflect, and maybe push for change.

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