El Niagara En Bicicleta Lyrics in English Juan Luis Guerra

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Below, I translated the lyrics of the song El Niagara En Bicicleta by Juan Luis Guerra from Spanish to English.

I got a fainting spell on a Sunday morning

When I least expected it

I fell flat, like a soursop, on the drain

Maybe it's the pressure or my bilirubin's risen

And a fever came over me

And I kept turning white like a mothball

They took me to a people's hospital, supposedly

In the ER, the receptionist was listening to the lottery

Somebody have pity on me!

I screamed while losing consciousness

And a nurse came up to my ear and said

Relax, Bobby, relax

She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and said

What's wrong, athlete?

And I told her in great detail what had happened to me

We have to check your pressure

But the room's occupied and, my dear

In this hospital there's no power for an electrocardiogram

I opened my eyes like a full moon and grabbed my head

Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me that the doctors are gone

Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic

Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol

And that the sewing thread

Was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me that the forceps got lost

That the stethoscope's partying

That the X-rays burned out

And that the IV was already used

To sweeten the coffee

I leaned on her shoulders like a cripple on his crutch

And said to her: What do I do, princess?

And on a prescription pad she wrote me very sweetly

I'm sorry, athlete

She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and went on her way

And I clearly heard when she told another patient

Relax, Bobby, relax

I lowered my eyes to half-mast and grabbed my head

Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me that the doctors are gone

Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic

Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol

And that the sewing thread

Was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me that the forceps got lost

That the stethoscope's partying

That the X-rays burned out

And that the IV was already used

To sweeten the coffee

Don't tell me that somebody's dropping

Don't tell me that the aspirins

Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth

Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth to me

Don't tell me that the aspirins

Don't tell me that somebody's falling

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Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Juan Luis Guerra

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sirimba — fainting spell / dizzy fit

Sirimba is a fantastic colloquial term from Caribbean Spanish, particularly from the Dominican Republic, meaning "a fainting spell" or "dizzy fit". It's a word bursting with local color that you likely won't find in a textbook.

Juan Luis Guerra kicks off the song with the line "Me dio una sirimba" (I had a fainting spell), which is the event that triggers the narrator's chaotic and satirical journey through a dysfunctional hospital. Learning a word like sirimba is a perfect way to discover the unique flavor of regional slang.

Juan Luis Guerra turns a medical mishap into a satirical adventure, mixing humor with sharp social critique. The narrator collapses on a lazy Sunday and is rushed to a chaotic public hospital where the receptionist is busy listening to the lottery, nurses soothe patients with the catchphrase “Tranquilo, Bobby, tranquilo,” and basic supplies like anesthesia, alcohol, and even thread have mysteriously vanished. Guerra’s playful merengue beat keeps the story light, yet every witty line exposes the painful reality of an underfunded health-care system.

The chorus compares getting proper treatment to “crossing Niagara Falls on a bicycle,” an almost impossible feat that captures the frustration of ordinary people when institutions fail them. Behind the catchy melody lies a plea for dignity, efficiency, and compassion. By the end, you are laughing at the absurdity while feeling the sting of truth, realizing that this song dances between joy and protest, inviting listeners to groove, reflect, and maybe push for change.

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Juan Luis Guerra El Niagara En Bicicleta Lyrics