Homosexuel Lyrics in English Julien Doré

Below, I translated the lyrics of the song Homosexuel by Julien Doré from French to English.
These English lyric translations are not yet verified.
Si j'étais homosexuel
If I were homosexual
Je n'aurais pas tous ces problèmes avec toi
I wouldn't have all these problems with you
On discuterait et puis voilà
We would discuss and then that's it
Bonne nuit à lundi
Good night until Monday
Je ne serais plus jaloux, de tout
I won't be jealous anymore, of everything
Je me foutrais bien de tous tes coups de filles
I wouldn't care about all your girlish moves
Je te demanderais pas qui c'est
I wouldn't ask you who it is
Qui t'appelles à ct'heure ci
Who's calling you at this time?
Je ne serais pas jaloux du chat
I wouldn't be jealous of the cat
Que tu caresses plus que moi
That you caress more than me
Je penserais pas à le tuer
I wouldn't think of killing him
Quand tu as l'dos tourné
When your back is turned
Si j'étais homosexuel
If I were homosexual
Je n'aurais pas tous ces problèmes avec toi
I wouldn't have all these problems with you
On discuterait et puis voilà
We would discuss and then that's it
Bonne nuit à lundi
Good night until Monday
L'ennui c'est dès que je te vois
Boredom is as soon as I see you
Je veux te lécher de haut en bas
I want to lick you from top to bottom
Sur chaque centimètre carré
On every square centimeter
Ou bien sur le périnée
Or on the perineum
Si j'étais homosexuel
If I were homosexual
Je n'aurais pas tous ces problèmes avec toi
I wouldn't have all these problems with you
Est-ce que mes problèmes seraient les mêmes
Would my problems be the same?
Si j'étais avec Fred
If I was with Fred
Si j'étais homosexuel
If I were homosexual
Si j'étais homosexuel
If I were homosexual
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