Vikingo De Aliexpress Lyrics in English by El Reno Renardo

Below, I translated the lyrics of the song Vikingo De Aliexpress by El Reno Renardo from Spanish to English.
These English lyric translations are not yet verified.
Tenías buenas chafas en el instituto
You had good crushes in high school
Enjuto, cejijunto y con el pelo hirsuto
Lean, eyebrowed and with shaggy hair
Camiseta desgastada de la Expo 92
Expo 92 worn T-shirt
Escribías a menudo cartas a la Heavy Rock
You often wrote letters to Heavy Rock
Pero Odín te susurró
But Odin whispered to you
Que pasa figura déjate barba y ven
What's up figure, grow a beard and come
La has dicho al peluquero que te afeite por los laos
You told the hairdresser to shave you in the laos
Que te deje una coleta diminuta por detrás
That leaves you with a tiny ponytail behind
Cuelga de tu pecho un colgante de EMP
Hang an EMP pendant from your chest
El Bardo Bastardo en el radiocasete
The Bastard Bard on the radio cassette
Paleodieta
Paleo Diet
A base de arenque y salmón
Herring and salmon based
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Pides a Ragnar y te llega Manuel
You ask for Ragnar and Manuel arrives
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Tu ruta al Valhalla comienza en Teruel
Your route to Valhalla begins in Teruel
En el foro de Rafabasa eres Ramón Amarth
In the Rafabasa forum you are Ramón Amarth
Te limpias con ardillas después de cagar
You clean up with squirrels after you poop
Hidromiel casero y cerveza artesana
Homemade mead and craft beer
Pero no le haces asco a la Steinburg tostada
But you don't disgust the toasted Steinburg
Ebanista de profesión
Cabinetmaker by profession
Berserker de corazón
Berserker at heart
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
A falta de Drakkar un buen pedalot
In the absence of Drakkar a good pedalot
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Navega el fiordo de Marina D'or
Sail the Marina D'or Fjord
Las fiestas del pueblo
The village festivals
Por San Agustin
By St. Augustine
Zurracapote y chinchón, en su honor
Zurracapote and chinchón, in his honor
Pero tú has hecho hidromiel
But you've made mead
Para honrar a Odin
To honor Odin
Alzas el cuerno al sol, Skol!
You raise your horn in the sun, Skol!
En vez de saquear
Instead of looting
Lo pagas todo con tu Mastercard
You pay for it all with your Mastercard
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Las campesinas, las mejores de Lays
The peasant women, the best in Lays
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Para encontrar a Freya te fuiste s First Dates
To find Freya you went to First Dates
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
En el Valhalla hay vírgenes mil
In Valhalla there are a thousand virgins
Vikingo de Aliexpress
Viking from Aliexpress
Pero tampoco estas tu para elegir
But you're not there to choose either
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