Home is where it hurts (New Edit) Lyrics in English Camille

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Previously on doctor who

Tardis

Black and white 4:3 grainy picture excerpts from the tenth planet, 709 episodes ago

Doctor 1: quite an arctic storm blowing out there. hmm! come along, polly, my child, with my cloak

Polly: hey, doctor, you've got the most fantastic wardrobe

Ben is zipping up a parka, and polly has found a fur coat and hat. well, it is 1966. such things were still okay then

Doctor 1: yes. we don't know what we're in for outside there. pretty soon we shall be having visitors

Tracking station

Later in the story to a cyberman

Polly: you're different. you've got no feelings

Krail: i do not understand that word

Doctor 1: emotions. love, pride, hate, fear

William harnell has david bradley's face digitally placed over his as we come into colour and 16:9 ratio

Doctor 1: have you no emotions, sir?

Later, at the start of part 4, the first doctor's hand is glowing gold in a complete remake of the missing video

Polly: what's happened to you, doctor?

Doctor 1: i guess this old body of mine is wearing a bit thin

Cyberman ship

At the end of the story

Ben: doctor! wakey, wakey, it's all over now

Polly and ben free the doctor from the cage

Doctor 1: no. it isn't all over. it's far from being all over

Ben: what are you talking about?

Doctor 1: i must get back to the tardis

A long time ago, at the south pole the doctor refused to regenerate

Antarctica

Doctor 1: i can't go through with it. i will fight it. i will not change

Doctor oc: hello? is someone there? hello?

...twice

And into the end of the doctor falls, but from the 1st doctor's point of view

Doctor 1: who is that?

Doctor: i'm the doctor

Doctor 1: i don't think so. no. dear me, no. you may be a doctor, but i am the doctor. the original, you might say

The doctor gets to his feet

Doctor: you. how can it be you?

Doctor 1: do i know you, sir?

Doctor: this is the south pole. we're at the south pole

Doctor 1: of course we are. don't you know that?

Doctor: this is where it happened

Doctor 1: where what happened?

Doctor: this is it. the very first time that i, well, you, we regenerated. you're mid-regeneration, aren't you? your face, it's all over the place, but you're trying to hold it back

Doctor 1: what do you know of regeneration? are you a time lord?

Doctor: you know who i am. you must

Doctor 1: hmm. have you come to take the ship back?

Doctor: the ship. you still call it a ship

Doctor 1: dear, what have you done to it?

Doctor: nothing

Doctor 1: walking around the tardis the windows

Doctor: i don't remember this

Doctor 1: they're the wrong size. the colour

Doctor: i don't remember trying not to change

Doctor 1: i'm sure it's changed

Doctor: not back then

Doctor 1: look at it. it seems to have expanded

Doctor: well, it's all those years of bigger on the inside, you try sucking your tummy in that long. why are you trying not to regenerate?

Doctor 1: i have the courage and the right to live and die as myself

Doctor: too late, it's started. a few minutes ago, you were weak as a kitten, right? now you're fine. we're in a state of grace, both of us, but it won't last long. we have a choice. either we change and go on, or we die as we are. but if you, if you die here, if your future never happens, if you don't do the things that you are supposed to do, the consequences could be

The snow stops falling

Doctor: the snow

Doctor 1: the snow?

Doctor: look at it!

Doctor 1: how extraordinary

The doctor flicks at a snowflake, which moves away then back to where it was

Doctor: everything's stopped. but why? maybe it's us, maybe it's something else, but somehow, something has gone very wrong with time

Captain: hello?

A figure in uniform, with a moustache and holding a pistol approaches. no prizes for guessing whose predecessor he will turn out to be, because it's far too obvious

Captain: sorry. so sorry. i don't suppose either of you is a doctor?

Doctor: you trying to be funny?

Ypres 1914

My granddad called it wipers. soldiers are resting in trenches while in a nearby bomb crater, two men are pointing their pistols at each other

Captain: there's something i should like to say. that is, there is something i should very much like you to understand. i do not have the slightest desire to kill you. the only reason i would do so is self-defence. however, since you are aware i might kill you in self-defence, there is the strong possibility you will kill me in self-defence. does rather make me wish you understood english

German soldier: lass mich einfach hier. ich will dich nicht toten. bitte geh

Translation just leave me here. i don't want you dead. please go

Captain: or that i spoke german. war is hell

As both men's fingers start to tighten on triggers, time freezes. but the captain can still move. he climbs out of the crater and looks at the fires and smoke not moving, the bird in mid-flap. a transparent figure appears. it turns, he gasps, then there is a swift series of images of a giant chamber with lots of lit doorways

Female voice: timeline error. there is a timeline error. timeline error. there is a timeline error

Antarctica

And the captain is dropped into the still snowstorm

Doctor oc: everything's stopped

Doctor 1 oc: but why?

Doctor oc: maybe it's us, maybe it's something else, but somehow, something has gone very wrong with time

Captain: hello? sorry. so sorry. i don't suppose either of you is a doctor?

Doctor: are you trying to be funny?

A bright light appears behind the captain. he turns

Captain: she's coming. she's coming. it's her

Doctor 1: not human, i think. state your planet of origin and your intentions. this is earth, a level five civilisation

Doctor: and it is protected

Doctor 1: it's what?

The transparent figure and the light disappears

Doctor; okay. that doesn't usually work

Doctor 1: protected by whom?

Doctor: it is early days, isn't it?

Doctor 1: to the captain may i suggest, for your own safety, you step onboard my ship?

Captain: what ship?

Doctor: he means, get inside the box

The first doctor unlocks the 12th's tardis

Doctor 1: a little snug from this angle

Tardis

Doctor 1: but you might be in for a sur... my tardis. look at my tardis!

Captain: this is impossible!

Doctor 1: have i been burgled?

Captain: it's... but it's

Doctor 1: it's hideous!

Continuing that splendid tradition of doctors hating each others taste in interiors

Captain: bigger on the inside than it is on the outside

Doctor: you know, i thought it probably was. i'm glad it's not just me

Shuts the doors behind him

Captain: what is this place?

Doctor 1: this place is, or ought to be, my tardis

The doctor swings the scanner round

Doctor: technically, that is your tardis. it's about seventy feet that way, see? always remember where you parked. it's going to come up a lot

Captain: is this madness? am i going mad?

Doctor: madness? well, you're an officer from world war one at the south pole, being pursued by an alien through frozen time. madness was never this good

Captain: world war one?

Doctor: judging by the uniform, yes

Captain: yes, but what do you mean, one?

Doctor: sorry. spoilers

Doctor 1: enough of this! who are you?

Doctor: er, you know who i am. you knew the moment you saw me. i'd say stop being an idiot, but i kind of know what's coming

The 1st doctor removes his astrakan hat and cloak and hands them to his successor

Doctor 1: i assure you, i do not have the faintest idea who you are

Doctor: well, i know who you are

Captain: holding a video tape is anyone going to explain what's going on?

The doctor shows off the regeneration glow in his hand

Doctor: snap

Doctor 1: you are me? no. no

Doctor: yes. yes, i'm very much afraid so

Doctor 1: do i become you?

Doctor: well, there's a few false starts, but you get there in the end

Doctor 1: but i thought

Doctor: what?

Doctor 1: well, i assumed i'd get er, younger

Doctor: i am younger!

Captain: you know, i really don't think i'm completely following. dear

Doctor 1: you're in shock. let me help you. er, brandy. get him brandy. do you have any? i had some somewhere

Doctor: hang on

Doctor 1: sit down here, my boy. collect your wits

The aldebaran brandy bottle, decanter and glasses are behind a roundel

Captain: who are you people?

Doctor 1: i am the doctor, and this is my

Doctor: it's complicated. actually, i am also

Doctor 1: my nurse

Doctor: excuse me?

Doctor 1: i realise that seems a little improbable

Doctor: well, yes

Doctor 1: because he's a man

Doctor: what?

Doctor 1: older gentlemen, like women, can be put to use

Doctor: you can't, you, you, you can't say things like that

Doctor 1: can't i? says who?

Doctor: just about everyone you're going to meet for the rest of your life. here

Doctor 1: have you had some of this?

Doctor: well, you know, i may have snuck a glass at some point in the last fifteen hundred years. it's been rock and roll

Doctor 1: there you are, get this down you. you'll feel a lot better

Captain: thank you, yes

Doctor 1: i er, i don't understand any of this

Doctor: well of course you understand. i am your future self

Doctor 1: are you indeed. and i suppose this is meant to be my tardis?

Doctor: our tardis

Doctor 1: what's wrong with the lights?

Doctor: it's supposed to be like this

Doctor 1: why?

Doctor: it, it's atmospheric

Doctor 1: atmospheric? this is the flight deck of the most powerful space-time machine in the known universe, not a restaurant for the french. good lord, what is that?

Rushing down the steps to his electric guitar

Doctor: look what someone has accidentally left here

Captain: i say, it's some sort of guitar, isn't it?

Doctor: is it yours?

Captain: no

Doctor 1: it appears to have been played quite recently. it's the only thing here that's been cleaned. yes, in fact this whole place could do with a good dusting. obviously polly isn't around any more

Doctor: please, please. please stop saying things like that

The tardis shakes. it has been clamped and is being winched up on chains into a big diamond-shaped spaceship. the doctor opens the door and looks down at the receding snowscape then up at their abductors, and goes back inside. he throws the main time rotor lever several times to no avail

Doctor: i can't get the engines to start. there's some kind of signal blocking the command path

The tardis is now inside the spaceship

Female voice oc: exit your capsule. the chamber of the dead awaits you

Doctor: i'll fix the engines while you keep her talking. fields up

Chamber of the dead

A multistory room with lots of archways that light up at random. the tardis is parked at the bottom of a long staircase. this is the place that the captain was between ypres and antarctica

Female voice oc: look around you. you stand in the chamber of the dead

The scene is on the scanner in the tardis too, and we keep intercutting, but without the watchers saying anything

Female voice oc: you are known to all here, for you are the doctor of war

Doctor 1: the doctor, yes. but the doctor of war? never, ma'am, never

Female voice oc: we offer you a gift. return to us the human on your tardis and in exchange, you may speak with her again

Doctor 1: speak with whom?

A shadowy figure walks out of a ground floor archway with a bright light behind her

Doctor 1: young lady, who are you?

Bill: is he here? is the doctor here?

Her doctor comes out of the tardis

Bill: doctor! they hug i knew it! i did, i knew it. i knew you couldn't be dead, you don't have the concentration. doctor? what are you doing?

He scans her with the sonic screwdriver

Doctor: just keep still, please. bill potts

Bill: yeah

Doctor: my friend bill potts was turned into a cyberman. she gave her life so that people she barely knew could live. so, let's be clear. nobody imitates bill potts. nobody mocks bill potts

Bill: bill potts is standing right in front of you

Doctor: how is that even possible?

Bill: well, long story short. i totally pulled

Doctor 1: you, you did what?

Bill: heather. do you remember, the girl in the puddle? well, she showed up. she came for me

Doctor: how romantic. where is she?

Bill: well, she's. she's

Doctor: and how did you get here?

Bill: i don't... i, i can't

Doctor: you can't remember. no, i bet you can't. he scans her again

Doctor 1: that device. what is it?

Doctor: it's a sonic screwdriver

Doctor 1: a, a what screwdriver?

Doctor: it's really a very good job

Doctor 1: an audio screwdriver?

Doctor: there are only three low-key markers indicating that she's a duplicate

Bill: i'm not a duplicate!

Doctor: so, who has been stealing the faces of the dead?

The doctors walk up the stairs to some very advanced technology

Doctor 1: time travel technology, obviously

Doctor: from the far future

Doctor 1: i know. sunglasses?

Doctor: they're sonic

Doctor 1: indoors?

Flash. the glass woman appears

Doctor: so, what are you?

Glass woman: we are what awaits at the end of every life. as every living soul dies, so we will appear. we take from you what we need and return you to the moment of your death. we are testimony

All the archways light up. very tomb of the cybermen

Doctor: you come from the distant future. you travel back in time, find people at the exact point of death, and what, you harvest something from them?

Glass woman: yes

Doctor: on behalf of the dying, what is it that we have that the future needs so badly?

Doctor 1: and what has any of this to do with a war world one captain landing at the south pole in the wrong decade?

Glass woman: we were returning him to the appointed time and place of his death. an error in the timeline ejected him into the wrong time zone. now his death must proceed as history demands

Doctor 1: if i may

He peers at her through his monocle

Doctor 1: who were you?

Doctor: she wasn't anyone

Sonic screwdriver

Doctor: she's a computer-generated interface, connected to a multiform, inter-phasing data-bank

Doctor 1: for heaven's sake, will you put that ridiculous buzzing toy away and look at the woman! you see? her face, it's very slightly asymmetrical. if it were computer generated, it wouldn't produce that effect

Doctor: yes. you're absolutely right. i should have noticed that

Doctor 1: well, it might help if you could see properly

He removes the sonic glasses and drops them on the floor. the captain comes out of the tardis

Captain: er, excuse me! doctor?

Doctor: get back inside

Captain: i'm not quite sure, but it seemed to me that this young lady's life was being offered in exchange for my own. as it happens, i think my number is pretty much up anyway

Bill: what are you talking about? doctor, what's he talking about?

Captain: so, might as well make it count for something, i should be happy to take your place, if that would resolve this situation

Glass woman: accepted

Bill: that is, that is not happening. that's totally not happening. agreed?

Doctor: tell me what to do, then. bill potts would tell me what to do

Bill: do what you always do. serve at the pleasure of the human race

Doctor: here's what's going to happen. first, i'm going to escape. you, with me

Doctor 1: where are we going?

Glass woman: escape is not possible

Doctor: it is possible, and it is happening, and i'm taking bill and the captain with me

Doctor 1: why are you advertising your intentions? can't you stop boasting for a moment?

Doctor: mister pastry, too. i could do with a laugh

Trivia mr pastry aka richard hearne was interviewed to be the 4th doctor

Glass woman: escape is not possible

Doctor: i'm going to do way more than escape. i'm going to find out who you are and what you're doing, and if i don't like it, i will come back and i will stop you. i will stop all of you!

Doctor 1: who the hell do you think you are?

Doctor: the doctor

Doctor 1: i am the doctor. who you are, i cannot begin to imagine

Glass woman: then let us show you, doctor. see who you will become

Davros: doctor!

Dalek: exterminate!

Cyberman: you will be assimilated

Images of past doctors fly around in bubbles, including the war doctor

Doctor: no, no, that's not a good idea

Doctor 10 oc: they all died

Glass woman: the doctor has walked in blood through all of time and space. the doctor has many names

Davros oc: the destroyer of worlds

Glass woman: the imp of the pandorica. the shadow of the valeyard. the beast of trenzalore. the butcher of skull moon. the last tree of garsennon. the destroyer of skaro. he is the doctor of war

The images disappear

Doctor 1: what, what was that?

Doctor: to be fair, they cut out all the jokes. do what i do when i do it

The sonic screwdriver opens the hatch beneath the tardis. then the doctor sonicks the winches to set the chains on the clamps holding the tardis unwinding

Doctor: jump!

They all grab a chain each and descend towards antarctica

Glass woman: they are not escaping

Antarctica

Their progress comes to a sudden halt. they slither down the chains to the tardis

Doctor: jump!

They do. the tardis was only a couple of feet off the ground. it starts to rise again

Bill: what do we do now?

Doctor: run!

Bill: where? they've got the tardis

Doctor: yes, that's exactly what they're supposed to think

Bill: but they do though. look

Doctor: they've got my tardis. over to you, mary berry

Doctor 1: come on

The tardis is back in the spaceship. meanwhile, a lot less than 70 feet away

Bill: doctor, is that another tardis?

Doctor: no. no. it's another of the same tardis

Bill: hang on, the windows are the wrong size

Doctor: inside, quickly!

Console room

A proper one, all white and gleaming roundels with a label saying bernard wilkie next to the door mechanism lever as homage to a special effects man from the early days

Doctor: take off, now! deep space, anywhere

The tardis whizzes along the vortex

Captain: i tell you what. these police boxes, they're ever so good, aren't they?

Doctor 1: the navigation systems don't function properly. i'm unable to programme our flight with any accuracy. so, my dear, i presume you travel with him

Bill: used to. kind of miss it

Doctor 1: well, he clearly misses you. that ship of his is in dire need of a good spring clean

Doctor: no, no, no, stop, stop, stop talking. look, look, look. look at the, look at the astral map. look at all the lovely blinking lights. look at that

Bill: he's you. he is, isn't he? he's you. he's one of your old faces

Captain: i'm find i'm lagging behind a tiny bit again. you

The doctor puts on his sonic shades

Doctor 1: not those again. i forbid it!

The doctor sonicks up an image of the glass woman up on the time and space visualiser

Doctor; there you go, i was right. asymmetrical

Doctor 1: i said that

Doctor: same difference

The doctor puts the shades on his ancestor, who staggers slightly

Doctor: if her face was based on a human original, perhaps identifying who that was will tell us what we need to know about testimony

Doctor 1: why am i wearing these?

Doctor: because i love it. never take those off

Doctor 1: what's browser history?

The doctor quickly retrieves his shades

Doctor: i'm trying to match her face in the tardis data bank, but there's hardly anything in it yet. we need a bigger database. possibly the matrix on gallifrey. no. we need something bigger than the matrix

Chamber of the dead

Captain on screen so basically, we're trying to track the glass lady, yes?

Bill on screen: basically

Captain on screen: a striking looking creature

Console room

Captain: quite beautiful, really, isn't she?

Bill; yeah, if you like ladies made of glass

Doctor 1: well, aren't all ladies made of glass, in a way? laughs

Captain: laughs very good, sir, very good

Bill: are we now?

Doctor 1: my dear. i hope it doesn't offend you to know that i have some experience of the er, fairer sex

Bill: me too

Captain: good lord

The time rotor stops and the door opens

Bill: where are we?

Doctor 1: but you steered the ship, you piloted her perfectly. we are at the very centre of the universe

Looking out on a scene of devastation, including a moon with a hole blasted in it

Doctor: out there is the most comprehensive database of all life anywhere. there is just one little problem

Bill: which is?

Doctor: it wants to kill me

Villengard

Something screeches amongst the wreckage

Doctor: the weapon forges of villengard. once the nightmare of the seven galaxies, now home to the dispossessed

Captain: i say, i think there's something moving over here

Doctor 1: step away, please

Captain: probably just rats. i'm used to rats

Something leaps onto his face. shades of alien. the doctor sonicks it, and it runs off on multiple little green legs

Doctor: deep breaths, deep breaths. just breathe, captain, you'll be fine

Doctor 1: that creature, it looked familiar

Doctor: it's mutated a bit, but yes, i should think it did

Doctor 1: come along, my dear chap. you'll be fine

Doctor: get him into the tardis

Bill: what are those things?

Doctor: what we came here for. the biggest database in the galaxy. they'll settle down in a moment

There are hordes of the brains on tentacles scurrying around

Bill: so, do we talk to them, ask them questions? how does it work?

Doctor: we don't do anything. i do

Bill: no, no, no, no, no, no!

Doctor: you're going to wait in the tardis

Bill: why?

Doctor: because you need to look after the captain

Bill: you're lying. you think i'm a duplicate, a trick

Doctor: i don't know what i think. but if there's the slightest chance that bill potts is alive and standing in front of me, then i will not, under any circumstances, put her life in danger again

Bill: seriously. you're looking right at me and you don't even know i'm here

Doctor: correct. i ask you to respect that, and respect me

Bill: you're an arse. do you know that? you, you, you, you're a stupid bloody arse

Doctor: as i have always respected you

The first doctor opens the tardis door and looks at bill

Doctor 1: if i hear any more language like that from you, young lady, you're in for a jolly good smacked bottom

And goes back inside

Doctor: can we just pretend that that never happened?

Bill: i'm a broad-minded girl. i mean, i know we have this whole professor student thing going on

Doctor: can we just never, ever talk about this again?

Bill: i hope we talk about it loads. i hope we spend years laughing about it. come back alive

Doctor: be here when i do

Console room

The first doctor opens up that roundel again

Doctor 1: perhaps another nip of brandy?

The decanter has a lot more in it here, of course

Doctor 1: hmm. so that's where it went

The captain is slumped in the chair

Bill: i'll look after him

Doctor 1: good girl, quite right. now, young lady, i don't want to have to repeat myself

Bill: i don't think any of us want that

Doctor 1: i'll see you both presently

The first doctor leaves the tardis

Bill: brandy?

Captain: please

But when bill reaches for the decanter, we see a glass hand

Villengard

The 1st doctor has caught up with the 12th very quickly

Doctor 1: these creatures. what are they?

Doctor: old friends of ours, but they've really come out of their shell

Doctor 1: out of their shell?

The doctor gasps and leans on some rubble

Doctor 1: are you all right?

Doctor: i'll be, i'll be fine in a moment

Doctor 1: what's the matter?

Doctor: i died a few hours ago, then i refused to regenerate. it catches up with you. you know, it's like a big lunch

Doctor 1: i did exactly the same

Doctor: i know you did. but why? i don't remember this. why are you refusing the regeneration?

Doctor 1: fear. i'm afraid. very, very afraid. i don't normally admit that to anyone else

Doctor: don't worry. technically, you still haven't

Doctor 1: why are you?

Laser bolts are fired from a tall creeper-covered building to a point near them. they run

Doctor 1: there's something in that tower!

Doctor: must be my friend

Doctor 1: why do you call him your friend?

Doctor: he's got a great big gun. are you suggesting i insult him? runs into a beam of light just scan me. go on, scan me. because i've got big news for you. i'm dying

The laser bolts stop and a scanning line runs up and down the doctor's body

Doctor: you see, it's true. dying. now, be honest with yourself. wouldn't you like to see that up close?

The light goes out and door at the bottom of the tower opens

Doctor: come on. up and at 'em, corporal jones

Console room

The captain's hand are shaking

Captain: funny thing. i wasn't afraid in the crater. one doesn't want to die, of course, but one gets in a certain frame of mind, one pulls oneself together, and gets on with the matter in hand. big shock for everyone back in cromer, of course

Bill oc: you have family?

Captain: my wife will miss me. that's perfectly natural. but she's a solid woman, remarkably solid, and my boys. well, sons are supposed to move on from their fathers. it's the proper way

Bill oc: of course

Captain: trouble is, i thought i'd been rescued. it felt rather like a miracle, in fact. but i do have this feeling they're going to put me back. back in that crater in time to die. and you see, i'm not ready any more. i've lost the idea of it. that's the trouble with hope. makes one awfully frightened. laughs i must sound like the most dreadful coward

Then he looks up and sees the glass woman

Villengard

Doctor: okay, i'd better go up alone

Doctor 1: i won't hear of it

Doctor: that thing up there won't miss the chance to kill me twice. the paradox would rip the universe apart, and you know how much hard work it is putting it back together again. you keep a lookout down here

Doctor 1: if you insist

So he investigates a shaking bush where something is also beeping. the glass woman comes out of the tardis and walks towards him

Tower

Doctor: you know what? you're a bit of a legend these days, but not everyone believes it. people don't think that it could happen. that someone like you could turn against your own kind, because your kind don't do that

Villengard

Doctor 1: out of their shells

He is holding a dalek eye stalk as the glass woman comes up behind him

Tower

Doctor: because people don't believe there could be any such thing as a good dalek

See into the dalek

Rusty: i am not a good dalek. you are a good dalek

Rusty fires at him but just misses. he hides behind the doorway

Villengard

The original, holding a piece of dalek casing, turns round to see human bill

Doctor 1: hello, my dear

Tower

Doctor: now, rusty, you know that i'm dying, and if you don't want me to go off and die somewhere else where you can't watch, you're going to have to stop shooting at me

Rusty: i agree to your terms

Doctor: well, i'm going to need some proof

Rusty's weapon stalk slides along the floor to his feet. the doctor enters rusty's chamber, where the dalek is linked to computer banks by glowing cables

Doctor: you know what? you are the very first dalek that ever got naked for me

Villengard

Bill: you're the first one, yeah? like, the original version of the doctor

Doctor 1: my dear, you should get back to the ship. this place isn't safe

Bill: you're the one who stole the tardis and ran away

Doctor 1: the captain might be needing you

Bill: nah, the captain's fine. why did you do it?

Doctor 1: i'm sure your doctor has explained

Bill: i'm not even sure he remembers

Doctor 1: there were many pressing reasons

Bill: i don't mean what you ran away from. what were you running to?

Doctor 1: that's rather a good question

Bill: questions are kind of my thing. how are you with answers?

Tower

Doctor: it's been a long time. remember the good old days, when i got miniaturised and i climbed around inside you?

Rusty: you taught me to hate the daleks

Doctor: billions of years ago. what have you been up to since then?

Rusty: destroying daleks

Doctor: yes, all the ones who come here to murder you. yes, i saw the mess outside

Rusty: why are you here?

Doctor: as a dalek, you are linked in to the dalek hive mind. all daleks are. biggest database i know. i'd like to access it

Rusty: why would i help you?

Doctor: because helping me, in any way, does something wonderful. it hurts the daleks

Villengard

Doctor 1: there is good and there is evil. i left gallifrey to answer a question of my own. by any analysis, evil should always win. good is not a practical survival strategy. it requires loyalty, self-sacrifice and er, love. so, why does good prevail? what keeps the balance between good and evil in this appalling universe? is there some kind of logic? some mysterious force?

Bill: perhaps there's just a bloke

Doctor 1: a bloke?

Bill: yeah. perhaps there's just some bloke, wandering around, putting everything right when it goes wrong

Doctor 1: well, that would be a nice story, wouldn't it?

Bill: that would be the best

Doctor 1: but the real world is not a fairy tale

Bill: you dash around the universe trying to figure out what's holding it all together, and you really, really don't know?

Doctor 1: you know me in the future. do i ever understand?

Bill: no. i really don't think you do. everyone who's ever met you does. you're amazing, doctor. hugs him never forget that. never, ever

Doctor 1: well, that's very kind of you

Bill: we just needed to understand you, doctor

Behind his back, her arms are glass

Tower

The dalek database has come up with a person, which is being projected from rusty's eye stalk

Doctor: professor helen clay, university of new earth, year five billion and twelve. there's footage. can you run it?

Villengard

Doctor 1: a spy. a spy in the camp

Bill: no, not a spy. i'm bill potts, but i'm part of testimony now

Tower

Helen projection: the testimony foundation combines the resources of time travel, with the latest in memory extraction techniques. the near-dead can be lifted momentarily from their time streams, their memories duplicated, and then their physical selves returned to the moment of their dissolution without pain, distress or any recall of the process. now the dead can speak again. we can hear the testimony of the past, and channelled through our glass avatars, they can walk among us again. this is heaven on new earth

Doctor: it's not an evil plan. i don't really know what to do when it isn't an evil plan. why did you stop it? rusty?

Doctor 1: he didn't stop it. they've frozen time again

Doctor: who has?

Glass woman: not everything's evil, doctor

She has stepped out of the projection of helen, and morphs into

Bill: you're not the only kind one in the universe

Doctor: i knew you weren't real

Bill: shut up and stop being so stupid. of course i'm real. what is anyone supposed to be except a bunch of memories? these are my memories, so this is me. i'm bill potts, and i'm back, and so long as i'm here, what the hell do you mean, you're not going to regenerate?

Doctor: there has to be an end, bill, for everyone, everywhere

Bill: what about the captain? you know he has to die at his allotted point in time and space to correct the error

Doctor: i'm so tired of losing people. if the captain has to die, a request. this was our fault

Doctor 1: how so?

Doctor: let us take him back

Two tardises travelling in space

Doctor 1 oc: how was this our fault?

Doctor oc: you and me tried to die twice in the same lifetime. our lives are woven throughout time and space. we caused the timeline error that put the captain in the wrong place. we created a whirlpool in time that landed him at our feet

Doctor 1 oc: but why him? what's so important about one captain?

Doctor oc: everybody's important to somebody, somewhere

Tardis

Doctor: are you all right?

Captain: yes, fine, absolutely. just thinking. i told the wife i'd be home for christmas. funny how things work out

The doctor sets the time rotor going

Ypres 1914

Two tardises materialise side by side next to the crater. nice trick given that the 1st doctor can't steer his. the doctor helps the captain back down the slope to his position opposite the frightened german

Captain: thank you. thank you all. you've all been most gracious in the unfortunate circumstances

Doctor 1: i regret, captain, that the universe generally fails to be a fairy tale

Glass woman: when time resumes, you will not remember this. a perception filter will also render us invisible

Captain: yes. one imagines some of those words were attached to actual meanings of some sort. one thing you could possibly do for me, if you were very kind?

Doctor: anything. name it

Captain: my family. perhaps you could look in on them, from time to time?

Doctor 1: we should be delighted. what's the name?

Captain: lethbridge-stewart. captain archibald hamish lethbridge-stewart

Ha! blindingly obvious, wasn't it

Doctor 1: i shall make it my business

Doctor: you can trust him on that

Captain: thank you so much. i believe i am now ready

He sits and points his pistol at the german. the glass woman vanishes and time restarts

German soldier: das ist verruckt. ich will dir nicht wehtun

That's crazy. i don't want to hurt you

Captain: :cold, isn't it? it's about to get colder, i suppose, for one of us

Fingers tighten on triggers, then

Germans: ♫ stille nacht, heilige nacht. alles schlaft, einsam wacht. ♫

Captain: i say, is that singing?

Germans: ♫ hochheilige paar holder knabe im lockigen haar. schlaf in himmlischer ruh! schlaf in himmlischer ♫

Captain: is that christmas carols?

British: ♫ silent night, holy night. all is calm, all is bright. round yon virgin mother and child. ♫

Captain: you know, i could swear it's coming from both sides

Doctor: if i've got my timings right, and clearly i have, then we should be right at the beginning

Soldiers come out of their trenches with white flags, still singing

Doctor: i adjusted the time frame, only by a couple of hours. any other day it wouldn't make any difference, but this is christmas 1914, and a human miracle is about to happen. the christmas armistice

The captain puts his pistol away

Captain: wounded man here!

He blows his whistle and stands up

Captain: wounded man here! wounded man!

Doctor: it never happened again, any war, anywhere

Captain: i say, wounded man here. wounded man!

Stretcher bearers from both sides go out into no-man's-land

Doctor: but for one day, one christmas, a very long time ago, everyone just put down their weapons, and started to sing. everybody just stopped. everyone was just kind

Doctor 1: you've saved him

Doctor: both of them. never hurts, a couple fewer dead people on the battlefield

Doctor 1: so that's what it means to be a doctor of war

Doctor: you were right, you know. the universe generally fails to be a fairy tale. but that's where we come in

The famous football kick-about has started

Soldiers: ♫ for auld lang syne, my dear. for auld lang syne. we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne. for auld lang syne, my dear. for auld lang syne. we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne. ♫

As the soldiers shake hands with their opposite numbers, the two doctors also shake hands. their regeneration energy flares

Doctor 1: i think i'm ready now. but i should like to know, are you?

Doctor: you'll find out. the long way round

Doctor 1: whatever you decide, good luck, doctor

Doctor: goodbye, doctor

The first doctor walks away. the doctor picks up a tin cup and takes a drink. the captain notices. the doctor raises the cup in salute, and the captain salutes him in return

Console room

The tardis dematerialises

Doctor 1: well then, here we go. the long way round

Fade into black and white, 4:3 ratio, ready for william hartnell's regeneration into patrick troughton

Ypres 1914

Bill: are you okay?

Doctor: shall we go for one last stroll, miss potts?

The christmas armistice is coming to an end

Bill: do you know what the hardest thing about knowing you was?

Doctor: my superior intelligence. my dazzling charisma. my impeccable dress sense

Bill: letting you go. letting go of the doctor is so, so hard, isn't it?

Doctor: you see, that's, that's, that's not the sort of thing the real bill potts would say

Bill: i am the real bill! a life is just memories. i'm all her memories, so i'm her

Doctor: if you say so

Bill: okay, i'm going to prove to you how important memories are. i've got a little goodbye present for you

Doctor: that's nice. will i have to pretend i like it? because honestly, that rug

Bill: come here, you. kiss on cheek

Clara: merry christmas, doctor

Doctor: clara

Clara: hello, you stupid old man

Doctor: you're back. you're in my head. all my memories are back

Clara: and don't go forgetting me again, because, quite frankly, that was offensive

Bill: memories. important, right?

Nardole: i know what you're thinking. where is he? hello, sir

Doctor: when you're already dying, you're entitled to think that your day couldn't get any worse, but here you are. and both of you are here. how does that work?

Bill: we can be everyone. we are everyone

Nardole: yeah, it's good this, innit? now i'm all made of glass, not just my nipples. yeah, but they got my hair a bit wrong though, didn't they?

Bill: you don't have any hair!

Nardole: i have invisible hair. got a suggestion for you, then

Doctor: there's a novelty

Nardole: don't die. because if you do, i think everybody in the universe might just go cold

Doctor: can't i ever have peace? can't i rest?

Bill: of course you can

Nardole: it's your choice

Bill: only yours

Nardole: we understand

Doctor: no. no, you don't. you're not even really here. you're just memories held in glass. do you know how many of you i could fill? i would shatter you. my testimony would shatter all of you. a life this long, do you understand what it is? it's a battlefield, like this one, and it's empty. because everyone else has fallen. thank you. thank you both, for everything that you were to me. what happens now, where i go now, it has be alone

Bill hugs the doctor. nardole joins in

Nardole: cuddle

Then they disappear

Doctor: time to leave the battlefield

Tardis

The tardis dematerialises

Doctor: there it is. the silly old universe. the more i save it, the more it needs saving. it's a treadmill

The tardis beeps, flashes and burbles at him

Doctor: yes, yes, i know. they'll get it all wrong without me. i suppose one more lifetime wouldn't kill anyone. well, except me

The cloister bell tolls

Doctor: you wait a moment, doctor. let's get it right. i've got a few things to say to you. basic stuff first. never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never, ever eat pears! remember, hate is always foolish. and love is always wise. always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. and you mustn't tell anyone your name. no one would understand it, anyway. except, collapses except children. children can hear it sometimes. if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too, children can hear your name. argh! but nobody else. nobody else, ever. laugh hard, run fast, be kind. doctor, i let you go

The regeneration streams out of him, causing tardis systems to go bang. when it ends, the engines are stuttering, and the signet ring falls off the doctor's right hand. in fact, all the clothes are rather baggy on this new body. the scanner reveals the reflection of the new, younger face with jaw-length blonde hair

Doctor 13: brilliant!

The accent has moved southwards, from scotland to northern england. she presses a button, there's a small explosion in the console and the scanner proclaims systems crisis multiple operations failures. the tardis snaps back into normal space, tilts drastically and keeps going bang. the cloister bell continues to toll. the doctor tries to hang on to the console, but looses her grip and slides towards the door which is now open with papers flying out of it. now the tardis is completely on its side, door open downwards. the time rotor explodes and she falls out towards the distant ground as the tardis, its interior in flames, vanishes

To be continued