¿Por Qué No Me Fui Antes? Lyrics in English by Ela Taubert
Disfracé is the past tense of the verb disfrazar, which means "to disguise" or "to dress up in a costume." Its noun form, un disfraz, is the Spanish word for a costume, like one you'd wear for Halloween.
In this emotional song, however, the meaning is purely metaphorical. Ela Taubert sings, "negué la realidad... La disfracé" (I denied reality... I disguised it), expressing how she intentionally ignored red flags and pretended things were okay. It's a poetic and memorable word to describe the painful act of self-deception.
Have you ever stayed in a relationship way past the expiration date, knowing full well you were fooling yourself? That painful facepalm moment is exactly what Colombian singer Ela Taubert tackles in "¿Por Qué No Me Fui Antes?" (Why Didn't I Leave Sooner?). Right from the jump, she admits the harsh truth: "perdí cuando me perdí por ti / O por una versión que nunca existió de ti" ("I lost when I lost myself in you / Or in a version of you that never existed"). She looks back at how she disguised reality, writing love letters that the other person probably never even opened ("De seguro ni leías las cartas que te hacía"). The gut punch isn't just that the relationship died; it is the nagging anger at herself for ignoring the obvious warning signs and falling in love anyway.
What makes this track hit so hard is its pure, unvarnished honesty about one-sided effort. Taubert drops one of the bluntest truths you will hear in pop: "Decir te amo no es amar, estar a medias no es estar" ("Saying 'I love you' isn't loving, being halfway here isn't being here"). Notice the phrase "estar a medias"—literally "to be at halves," which is how Spanish speakers describe someone giving half-baked effort or being emotionally checked out. She gave her all trying to keep the flame alive for both of them until she simply burnt out: "Traté por los dos y no pude más" ("I tried for both of us and I couldn't anymore"). It is a song about waking up, admitting "Me equivoqué" ("I made a mistake"), and finally walking away from someone who only showed up late when they were needed most.
