Mille Milliards turns the world of Tintin on its head. In the comics, Captain Haddock hollers his favorite swear, “Mille milliards de mille sabords !”, whenever things go wrong. Oldelaf keeps the catchphrase but flips the emotion: the gruff sailor secretly sings a heartfelt love letter to the young reporter he usually calls “freluquet”. Between references to the Karaboudjan, Castafiore’s shrill arias, and the quiet evenings at Moulinsart, Haddock admits he only ever wanted Tintin by his side, from the peaks of Tibet to the sands of the Sahara.
What begins as a playful parody becomes a touching exploration of unexpected love, vulnerability, and the wish to break free from old clichés. The song mixes humor (“I drink to the bottom of the hold”) with tenderness (“fragile and so strong at once”), showing a captain who hides his feelings behind rum and grumbling, yet dreams of growing old next to his faithful friend. By the final chorus, he hopes that if someone ever rewrites their adventures, they will no longer erase this secret romance. The result is a fun, clever, and surprisingly moving tribute to the power of love to rewrite even the most famous stories.