LYRICS GAME

The family's rapper, won't he drop a little rap for us

A song

Aurélien, a song, Aurélien

Okay, a song

Yeah

Since we're all gathered here

To sing 'Les démons de minuit'

Eat duck mousse on blinis

Dance under Gifi strobe lights

I prepared a little speech

Because I gotta confess a small detail about my life

I hate family parties

Wooh

First off, nights when I'm sure I won't f*ck

I had too many of those in high school

I've already considered some cousins

Even if it meant risking trisomy

But when I see Delphine's mug

Who's useless except for whining

I get why her drunk boyfriend

Would rather dance with the dog

If I'm over thirty

And I'm still sitting at the kids' table

It's so I can tell them to watch out for Christian

When he's got alcohol in his blood

And because I can't stand hearing

The parents' dirty jokes

I think dad would f*ck mom

On the table if you thought that was funny

Vincent, you're the same age as me

How come you're still older

If you're not scared of the void

Look Murielle in the eyes

Sorry, but I spent the afternoon blowing up balloons

In a military setup vibe imposed by the old man

While my brother-in-law was reciting

Political clichés with passion

Watching me carry boxes

While groping my sis every three seconds

There are exactly the right number of cups per person

You gotta write your names

Because auntie is the kind of cheapskate

Who washes the paper plates

Uncle, if you keep doing 'yo, yo' with your fingers

Every time you walk past me

You'll use them for the last time

I still hate you for when I was little

And you shook me like a wh*re

If you cared about your wing mirrors

Why'd you park behind the goal

Speaking of wh*res

I'd like to welcome Bruno's new wife

If Caro's not listening to me anymore

She's cooking up her next gossip

Forgive her, she wouldn't be like that if her husband didn't cheat on her

Or maybe he cheats on her because she is like that

I don't know

Message to all my distant cousins

Come on, let's stop pretending we're buddies

Because some ancestor we don't even know

Is the only thing we share

One f*cking ancestor

Who probably burned villages and looted houses

Around the same time grandpa was f*cking Joan of Arc

By the way, grandpa, tell us about the time

When you were nine and you killed Hitler

You were never a hero

You weren't even a good liar

My hero was you, Nico

But since you got with that kinda hot b*tch

You're just a real redneck like the others

Thanks Arnaud for

Coming to take pics of yourself

To feed your social media

Taking advantage of being with a few proles

So you can play the hipster even more

Polo, if you want to impress me

It's not by rolling fancy joints

Or by saying 'wesh' way too much for a blond kid

Seeing as your dad has a problem with Arabs

That's a lovely irony

By the way, he's less likely to die from terrorism

Than from alcoholism

I hope auntie straps the kids in tight

Because her husband's gonna drive back on autopilot

As if he had a self-driving car

I had more things to tell you

But when I see your puffy a**hole faces

I can only wonder if there are enough

Pigs on Earth to feed you

I'd like to finish by saying that no matter the smiles

The village party

A tiny inheritance was all it took to see your real faces

Grandma, I love you

See you next year