I don't like it when you look sad, Gaston
Everybody'd love to be in your shoes, Gaston
Even when it's not a big party
Of the whole village, you're the favorite
You're the pick of the bunch
Every woman falls to her knees before you
And that's not hard to understand
The best looking, that's Gaston
The beefiest, that's Gaston
And nobody's got a bull neck like Gaston
A big shot with real swagger and manners
And style and presence
Ask Tony, Dick or Norbert
They'll tell you right away exactly what they think
The coolest, that's Gaston
And nobody's got a chin dimple like he does
I've got a body like Apollo, lead in my head
Hip-Hip Hooray, Hooray Hip-Hip
Gaston, seven days a week
Everything else is peanuts
The strongest, that's Gaston
The sportiest, that's Gaston
When you put him in a ring
Nobody bites like Gaston
How tall he is, how handsome and well-built
Those aren't paper biceps
He's not shriveled or puny
It's true, and my hairy chest makes me famous
The classiest, that's Gaston
The toughest, that's Gaston
At the spitting contest, nobody spits like Gaston
I'm really skilled at expectoration
When I was little, I downed four dozen eggs
To be strong, to feel at ease
Now that I'm grown, I swallow forty-nine
That's why I'm the king of the heavies
Nobody aims like Gaston
Nobody curls like Gaston
And nobody's got Gaston's boots or shirts
I collect trophies, I've got them all over the house
You're the champ, Gaston