LYRICS GAME

I got a fainting spell on a Sunday morning

When I least expected it

I fell flat, like a soursop, on the drain

Maybe it's the pressure or my bilirubin's risen

And a fever came over me

And I kept turning white like a mothball

They took me to a people's hospital, supposedly

In the ER, the receptionist was listening to the lottery

Somebody have pity on me!

I screamed while losing consciousness

And a nurse came up to my ear and said

Relax, Bobby, relax

She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and said

What's wrong, athlete?

And I told her in great detail what had happened to me

We have to check your pressure

But the room's occupied and, my dear

In this hospital there's no power for an electrocardiogram

I opened my eyes like a full moon and grabbed my head

Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me that the doctors are gone

Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic

Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol

And that the sewing thread

Was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me that the forceps got lost

That the stethoscope's partying

That the X-rays burned out

And that the IV was already used

To sweeten the coffee

I leaned on her shoulders like a cripple on his crutch

And said to her: What do I do, princess?

And on a prescription pad she wrote me very sweetly

I'm sorry, athlete

She caressed me with her Ben-Gay hands and went on her way

And I clearly heard when she told another patient

Relax, Bobby, relax

I lowered my eyes to half-mast and grabbed my head

Because it's really hard to cross Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me that the doctors are gone

Don't tell me that there's no anesthetic

Don't tell me that they drank the alcohol

And that the sewing thread

Was embroidered into a tablecloth

Don't tell me that the forceps got lost

That the stethoscope's partying

That the X-rays burned out

And that the IV was already used

To sweeten the coffee

Don't tell me that somebody's dropping

Don't tell me that the aspirins

Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth

Don't tell me that somebody's giving birth to me

Don't tell me that the aspirins

Don't tell me that somebody's falling