If I were cool I'd hang out at the right spot
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If I were cool I'd know the right people
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If I were cool I'd wear trendy clothes
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Sometimes those pieces are awful
That you can't resell to anybody
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If I were cool I'd be at the gym every day
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If I were cool I'd stand naked at the window
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If I were cool I'd be the prince of the adductor
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I'd be the king of the abs
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I'd be the king of the window
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They'd admire my hair
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Yeah, they're fake but still really nice
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The real ones flew away with the wind
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And even the photo on my ID
Doesn't look like me anymore
And they'll never come back
In the square I replace them
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With a technical wonder
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Fruit of research and experiments
That help us with our look
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If I were cool I'd drive a big jeep
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Up to the club, eagerly awaited in the VIP area
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My name would always be on the list
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Not exactly the first on the list
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But not the last of the a**holes either
Go-go dancer, go-go dancer
I look at you, you look at me
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And it explodes inside my body
That we young people call
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Maybe I'm not cool, maybe not
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You strangely see me as a loner
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But I like being with people
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I'd wax myself all damn day
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Like a porn actor's balls