If I were cool I'd hang out at the right spot
If I were cool I'd know the right people
If I were cool I'd wear trendy clothes
Sometimes those pieces are awful
That you can't resell to anybody
If I were cool I'd be at the gym every day
If I were cool I'd stand naked at the window
If I were cool I'd be the prince of the adductor
I'd be the king of the abs
I'd be the king of the window
They'd admire my hair
Yeah, they're fake but still really nice
The real ones flew away with the wind
And even the photo on my ID
Doesn't look like me anymore
And they'll never come back
In the square I replace them
With a technical wonder
Fruit of research and experiments
That help us with our look
If I were cool I'd drive a big jeep
Up to the club, eagerly awaited in the VIP area
My name would always be on the list
Not exactly the first on the list
But not the last of the a**holes either
Go-go dancer, go-go dancer
I look at you, you look at me
And it explodes inside my body
That we young people call
Maybe I'm not cool, maybe not
You strangely see me as a loner
But I like being with people
I'd wax myself all damn day
Like a porn actor's balls