Pack your gear, we're going on a trip
Grab lembas bread, the cracklings, and the knapsack
Beyond the Shire, there's a place
Since nobody can park there
Gandalf, you look great on your steed
I got hard when I saw Galadriel
Agent Smith from The Matrix
Fat Sam scares me more than a Nazgûl
And he follows me even when I go to poop
A clever critter is watching us
That crawls like a reptile
From the looks of him he's Ángel Cristo
I go ape and euphoria hits me
When I put on the ring
The carajillo has gone to my head
Or it's Juan Carlos de Borbón
They say that there's a Gloria
That likes it from behind
I've been told that on Gran Vía
They leave your sword nice and clean
Elrond's chickpeas have sat great with me
Elves really know how to distill good pacharán
The orc hordes are going to enjoy
I'm gonna gas them like Saddam did to the Kurds