Abstinenzler means "abstainer," someone who completely avoids something, most often alcohol. It's a more formal, almost clinical sounding word than just saying someone "doesn't drink."
In "Dass die ganzen Abstinenzler" ("That all teetotalers"), the band provocatively suggests that people who never drink can still be the worst behaved, turning the usual assumption about sober people upside down.
Die Toten Hosen are known for their witty and often rebellious lyrics, and "Kein Alkohol (Ist Auch Keine Lösung)" [No Alcohol (Is Also No Solution)] is a perfect example! This song is a humorous, yet surprisingly relatable, take on the idea that sometimes, even when you try to be completely sober, it doesn't necessarily make life's problems disappear. The singer admits, "Es gibt Tage, die sollten nie enden / Und Nächte, die sollten nie gehen" [There are days that should never end / And nights that should never go], hinting at those rare moments of clarity. But mostly, "Alles ist irgendwie grau" [Everything is somehow gray], and a clear head doesn't always make things better.
They poke fun at the idea of sobriety being the ultimate answer, singing, "Kein Alkohol ist auch keine Lösung / Ich hab es immer wieder versucht" [No alcohol is also no solution / I've tried it again and again]. It's a blunt and funny way of saying that while going without alcohol could work, it doesn't always feel good. The band even brings up Jesus turning water into wine to make their point that "Ganz ohne Drogen geht es nicht" [It doesn't work without drugs at all] – a classic Die Toten Hosen move! They even declare, "Ich scheiß auf meine Vorbildfunktion" [I don't give a damn about being a role model], showing they're not afraid to be a bit provocative and honest about their struggles and opinions.